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Notes from dear friends and family. Please do send us your own Nancy tales for inclusion here. nkm@bubbaguitar.comDear Nancy, You are such a wonderful dose of strength and toughness combined with insight and sensitivity. You've always had the Ying and the Yang. Your body may be failing you, but your spirit is strong. You've left and impression on me, as I'm sure you have done with hundreds of others that have known you. Lou Reed put together an album devoted to two friends of his that had cancer. In a song titled, "What's Good" the lyrics go... "What good's a war without killing What good is rain that falls up What good's a disease that won't hurt you Why no good, I guess, no good at all" There's a certain sensibility about life that you've shown me and this verse captures the passion and the irony that you so often display. Some snapshots from my memories and things I've learned from you along the way: You taught me about my first healthy snack food: Fig Newtons. I remember back in high school. I had just gotten my hair cut and was in the car with a few friends. You reached in, patted around on my scalp, and then said, "That's a real nice haircut." Of course my adolescent friends gave me a ribbing about this, but you knew they would. You made me better understand reality and keep a more open mind. Can a blind person tell whether a hair cut is good or bad? I shouldn't rush to judgment if I haven't experienced it myself. For me, before I could understand you, I first had to live beyond my encounters with that well-disciplined, but aggressive German Shepard. In retrospect, Tallah put me on the path of looking beyond the fear and focusing on whatever it was that you wanted to do. If I ever write a science fiction book or a horror movie screen play, it's guaranteed that the main villain will be named "Tallah". I tracked your radio show, amazed by the breadth of tunes and amount of energy that you and Bill must have put into the show. I remember so many of the family get-togethers and the family jams that happened so often. They are a part of the fabric of who I am. I amazed to think that I knew "Tonight the bottle let me down" before I was five years old. I have vivid memories of a trip to Cathlemet and a bike ride that we took. Bill and you rode on the tandem. We crossed a covered bridge and then at a farmhouse nearby were what seemed like dozens of crazed farm dogs that chased us on the bikes. You guys just up and flew past the dogs on the tandem and from that I learned that two people working together can accomplish so much more than one. You quickly diagnosed my condition when I returned from my sophomore year in college. "Owwwwww, you're in Looooove," you said without hesitation. And you encouraged me to chase it will all my heart. I remember your and Billy's generosity, letting my Dad live with you while he got his feet back on the ground. I've always appreciated your quick wit and occasional caustic comments. You've got the heart of a lioness; you're expressive and have filled your life with so many meaningful things. In a world where so much is water-downed or lacking in depth, you and Billy have been such a caring couple and matched for all the right reasons. Perhaps it's best to just let you speak for yourself. I dug up this e-mail from you from March 2000, as Lilly and I were getting things together for our own wedding: "Everything sounds just perfect for you and Lilly and I hope you will be very happy for your whole life together. There will be rocky times and there will be great times, but if you guys stick with each other and remember the number one thing is to trust each other. The big T is what I call that. As long as you can do that, things will be okay. Enough preaching or whatever it is I'm supposed to be doing as an old aunt who doesn't feel old at all at all. Hope your weekend is a good one and have fun at whatever you are doing." If you find that you are feeling weak or beaten or overwhelmed with despair, keep in mind that you put so much spirit into this world before the disease came knocking. With your no-holds-barred approach to things, I envision your cells battling it out with the tumors cells in a boxing ring. Both sides are bloody, drenched in sweat, exhausted - and when the bell rings to end the round and signal a break in the action, they plop down on the adjacent stools. Your cells offer up a cigarette to the relentless foe, curse them as a son-of-a-bitch, and then good naturedly comment on the strength of their upper cut. Viva la resistance! Which brings me back to some closing lyrics from Lou Reed's "Magic and Loss" "When the past makes you laugh and you can savor the magic That let you survive your own war You find that fire is passion And there's a door up ahead not a wall" Love, your nephew - Peter (and Lilly and Zoe and Remi) |
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Dear Nancy, I just wanted to mention some memories I have of you. I remember she sang a song called I believe "Billy" or "Willy" and it was beautiful (like Bill). I taped it and for years listened to it often. She also sang a song called something like "when Sunny gets blue her eyes turn gray and cloudy". That was on the same tape and I listened to it often as well. That is my all time favorite song (as sung by her) and I always wished she would have made a record. I would give anything to hear her sing that one more time. A piece of Nancy will live in me forever because there is not a day that goes by that I do not hum or sing that song as I drive to and from work and remember her. Unfortunately, I do not do the song the justice it deserves! I wish I could hear her sing that one more time! Also I think of myself here in Minnesota and since I travel so much I know nothing about the Minneapolis. Thus, I hate going out anywhere. Today when I dreaded going to a luncheon meeting in the city, I thought of how Nancy would go everywhere and anywhere. I remember driving along and so many times seeing Nancy strutting down the street going anywhere she pleased. All my life I have felt restricted from going places or doing things, because of my fear or laziness to figure things out. It always seems like too much of hassle, so even though I travel to many places all I see are hospitals and hotels. I think my life is such a bore. If only I could have had a peace of Nancy's spirit in me, my life would have been fantastic. What didn't or couldn't Nancy do. Nancy is my heroine. She and Bill are in my prayers everyday. I am praying for miracles, but I think all of us having had Nancy in our lives all these has been a miracle for us. We Martins don't deserve her. I am also impressed with the love and companionship Bill has given Nancy all these years. He did have a slow start though. I remember how her used to tease her and say, "Hey Nancy, give me a kiss." and then as she leaned forward, he would stick a newspaper there and she would kiss it. Nancy was never too pleased. Somehow Bill improved and has turned out pretty darn good. The both of them always kept me laughing. I hope I can still have years more of that! Well, thank you Marie and Callie. Take care and have a good weekend. I have to take Keiko home soon. They just checked it and she still has a large kidney stone, but it is close to the bladder so hopefully it will pass with little pain is only about an inch from the bladder. I do not wish to go back to the hospital again!! Thank you, John Martin |
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Nancy, I'm glad to get the opportunity to say this to you. I've wanted to but felt awkward about it. How dumb. Anyway, you know that I always tell you that you have guts. Well, you really do and I wish I could emulate you. You always say what you mean and are not afraid to speak your mind. But, on the other side of the coin, you are very comforting when the occasion calls for it. I will always remember how encouraging you were when I sat with you in your kitchen after I had my first seizure. You said all the right things and I felt better for having talked to you. And wasn't it fun to meet on the bus when you would be coming home from your friend's house in Portland. I always looked forward to that and have never stopped looking for you to chat with again. And remember when we went to Starbuck? We had a good time talking about everything that day. It's really too bad we haven't done that again. But all of this is leading up to the fact that, as I said, I admire your guts for not letting anything get in the way of your talent. In spite of everything, you are a beautiful and true musician. Many people, including me, have never developed their true self even when they don't have something to overcome. The picture I always have in my mind of you is when you salute the cheering crowd with your bow. Hey, save a place for me at StarBuck's. I'll be looking for you when it's my turn to join you. Jimmie |
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Dear Nancy, You're really cool! You and Bill have done such neat things and are an inspiration. I believe life is first and foremost an adventure. My poor pea-brain sometimes comes up pitifully short on verbiage. Mostly, Nancy, I'm being "soul-attentive" toward you. It's difficult to explain. I am hoping for- and/or possibly participating in- your being profoundly taken care-of and loved while you're having your current unpleasantness. Nevertheless, I REALLY enjoy you and Bill! We've all had such fun, so much belly-laughter and music and gaiety juxtaposed against life's drudgery. Much, much love, Nancy. Joe |
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Dear Nancy, We got your e-mail and were all in tears, but are very happy that she is holding in there. Everyday does count and we want to send our love. We love you both and think that you and Nancy are using the time she has left the best way possible. It sounds like a first date... all wonderful and full of laughs. But we are sad and want to know when to see you. Will probably be in touch with MeMe as you are busy.. but in the mean time.. BIG LOVE, Christopher, Jenny, Jove, and Hannah Martin |
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Dear Nancy, I'll always remember the first I met you When we were introduced you said, "So this is the infamous Sylvia Lackaff." I was just bowled over. I'm still not aware of what I was so infamous for and probably at this stage of my life it's better not to know. I've enjoyed our correspondence over the years, although it's been sparse lately. I still have all the letters you have written. I've always been so impressed with your music. You have so much talent and have provided so much entertainment for family gatherings. We've all been fortunate to have you in our family. I'm writing this from AZ where I'm spending the summer with another cousin, Carolyn Lynch Miller, who is going through a bad patch, and will leave for New York in October to live with my son, Dan, who recently lost his wife. I'm so grateful I had the chance to meet and know you. My love to both you and Bill. Love Sylvia |
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Mary - Glenda shared the neat idea for Nancy of sending her memories or funny stories to read. Craig and I wanted to share some of our memories with Nancy and Bill. I hope this is okay. I first met Nancy when I was Glenda and Dennis' babysitter, at about 15 years of age! G & D would invite me to come with the group to look for the elusive "perfect" Christmas tree in the wild forests of the Gifford Pinchot, as well as numerous Halloween parties and musical gatherings. Nancy's wit, talent, and voice were all a strong component of each gathering. Nancy was such a fierce competitor when it came to all those goofy games Glenda would have us do - from bobbing for apples to pushing the walnut across the kitchen floor with your nose, just to name a couple. When Craig and I decided to get married in 1982, I immediately knew I wanted the musical talents of Nancy, Bill, Tom, and Dennis to perform. Bill and Nancy recommended Mary's beautiful voice for the songs I chose and of course, Frankie Schuurman was there to lend his musical talents as well. Frankie had the foresight to record the ceremony for us and every so often, I play it for fun. While planning the musical aspects of the ceremony, it was Nancy's suggestion that the guests be seated to some composer's works called "water music". I'm sure she'll remember who the composer was. After marrying Craig, I drug him along to all those Dead Lake July 4th rainy celebrations Dennis coordinated; where rain or shine he was screaming "Happy 4th of jaNew Year!!" We always had great food, music, and interesting antics at this event. The past 33 years (has it really been THAT long???) has really been filled with wonderful memories. I want to tell Nancy and Bill that they have been a part of my most special memories! Their love and dedication to each other is truly inspiring as is Nancy's strength of spirit, determination, and positive outlook on life. We just live around the corner from Jim, so if there is anything we can help with, PLEASE, call on us. Our number is 695-6056 or contact us by email. Hugs to you both, Karen and Craig |
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Dear Nancy and Bill, I have been thinking of you and some of the lovely times we have shared. I realize that life is measured in moments and you two are a part of many of my treasured memories in my life. I thought I would remind you of some of them. The night that Bill and Nancy met, Aunt Norma's party. Norma was still in her "party phase" (this was still her Aunte Mame incarnation and before she swore off the demon drink!). She knew that her favorite nephew Denny and his friends loved to play music. She knew her friend Nancy loved to play music. She also had a eye of cupid, so she thought she would have a party and give fate a chance. Nancy and I were talking and I remember her asking me if Bill was married. No. Did he have a girlfriend? No. Well, she said he was probably going to get one. He gave her a ride home and I heard them make arrangements for the following weekend. In the fall, September 25th, we were celebrating at a wedding of Nancy and Bill Martin. Memories starters: Dead Lake 4th of July (Dennis always had a cannon and a rebel yell of Happy 4th of Ja New Year). Music, rain, watermelon. Halloween Parties on Linda Lane. Remember the peanut rolls and apple bobbing and costumes and food? And of course the music. Christmas tree hunts at the Gifford Pinchot? Now why did it seem that the tree was perfect and appropriate size only to find when we returned that it was a forest giant. And after cutting the top 4 feet off and the bottom six feet off, it still was a little too big for the room! But we would sing carols and drink hot chocolate with a little rum and it was all good. Birthday parties for Dennis. Some at the house, some at restaurants. Remember the Cannon Beach birthday at Bill's Tavern? I look at all the times shared and I am grateful for the time spent with you two. Take care and know that you are loved. Glenda |
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Dear Nancy, I know I have holes in my memory, but here's the way I THINK things happened. My most vivid memories of Nancy are from nearly 40 years ago and many of them are second-hand. I remember in the late '60's when Billy lived with Mike and me for a while. He came home from a party really early… like eleven o'clock. We were still up, so we asked him what was wrong… "Are you sick?" He told us, "Naw. But parties used to be fun! Now all people do is sit around, smoke weed, and say, 'Like, wwwowww!' But it was different the night that Bill met you, Nancy. Talk about love at first sight! He was nuts about you after meeting you once. "She is so cool! She plays the guitar (or was it the banjo?), she is SOOO funny and REALLY, really smart and… did I say how good she plays?" Love struck, I think you'd call it! While he lived at our house, we'd never seen Bill interested in ANY girl. It was wild to watch him all moony and nuts about Nance! We learned how really cool she was, even as a kid… how she learned to ride a bike in the cul-de-sac where her parents lived… how she was willing to hike in deep wilderness. I remember hiking with Bill and Nancy and Mike and our kids in the Jefferson wilderness. The trail was rough and rocky, but that wasn't a problem for Nancy. She'd just grab on to the back of someone's pack and go! But, oh my goodness, the mosquitoes were awful, and they really, really thought Nancy was delicious, 'cause they feasted on her even more than anyone else… didn't we have some kind of repellant? Her face was a lumpy mess by the time we got through… I guess she didn't dare let go of the pack and slap those darn bugs. For some reason, my orange backpack fit Nancy better than any other, so after the kids and I finished the northern part of the Olympic wilderness beaches (Chris and Joel had gone the whole 50 miles by the time Joel was 6 years old… in two summers) Bill and Nancy came over to borrow it for THEIR hike up there. I showed them pictures and talked about the trail. I especially showed Bill a picture taken with my 35 millimeter point-and-shoot. "See that little dark place in the crotch of that tree?" I asked. "That's a bear. It came down to the edge of the forest, relaxed into the tree, and watched the Boy Scouts ahead of us pass by. They made sure that our little troop (Joey and Johnny and a friend of theirs… about 12 or 13 years old… and Chris and Joel and me) knew the bear was right there when we passed by, not talking, not running, not getting the bear interested in us. Be SURE to bear-bag your food, especially at Sand Point and Cape Alava." Billy said, "We'll do that! We don't plan to hike far, just to one of the nice beaches with good water, and we'll stay there and hang out for the week." Which is, I guess, what they did. Or maybe they just realized how tough the hike was because of walking on the rocky beach. Depending on the tides, they'd have to step from rock to rock; it doesn't take long for the thighs to start to burn, but it wasn't like a trail where Nancy could just latch on to somebody and go. Can't imagine stepping on those rocks with my eyes closed! Anyhow, I think they went in at Sand Point, and then down the beach about three more miles to Yellow Banks, not far but rough. Bill said they stayed their for most of the week, then headed back to Sand Point the last day, which gets more people-pressure as it's only three miles from the trail-head. Bill told us, "We pitched the tent, but instead of putting all the food (the best food saved for the end of the trip, the best sausage, the best bread… Billy will have to fill in here) in a stuffer bag and flinging it up over the wires that hung high between two trees, I hung the orange pack, with all that saved-for-the-last day food in it, by the top of the frame on a little stub of a branch." They were tired, and after some dinner, turned in as soon as it got dark. It was some time in the middle of the night when Billy heard some snuffling in their camp site. He found the flashlight, stuck his head out of the tent, and saw the bear checking out their gear. Well shoot, he thought in his sleepy fog, peering at it from the flap of the tent, that bear has no business going through our stuff. "Shoo, Bear! Go away!" he hollered, and then threw (a stick?) at the bear, which snuffled away to the next camp site, or maybe just into the woods. How the heck Bill and Nancy got back to sleep after that, I don't know. Billy told us it took a long time, lying in his bag thinking, "Oh-my-god, what did I do! I just hollered at a BEAR!" Anyway, he did get back to sleep, and the bear didn't return until dawn. This time a different noise woke then up: whuppata whuppata whuppata snorf snorf shorf. Bill whispered to Nancy, "The bear is back. And he's checking out your pack. He's taking his big paw, and hitting the pack so it swings all the way around, upside down, from the top bar and that little branch. And every time it swings upside down, the food falls out." The bear didn't tear the pack up or even take it off the peg it hung on. The only way I could tell the story was true was some claw sized punctures in the pack. They cut the trip short, because that black bear slobbered on every bit of food he didn't eat. Billy did NOT holler at the bear this time; nor did he throw anything. Janet Martin-Brattin |
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